Tiredness

I have been so tired lately. I just can't seem to get enough sleep. Last night I slept with my contacts in. I knew when I laid down to read at 9 PM I was tired. I thought about taking them out, but I didn't think I was that tired. I guess I was wrong. This morning J missed his bus for school. He has never done this. Which I guess is really good, for the almost 3 years he's been riding a bus. It just didn't make it easy for me. But I guess really no day would be perfect for him to miss the bus. S had chorus at 7:30, I had a volunteer breakfast at 7:30. I mention to him, good thing I had other things to do this morning, so I was dressed and ready to take you to school on time. He chuckled, but didn't thank me. After the lame breakfast, I came home and finished some laundry I started this morning, and took a little nap, which wasn't nearly long enough.

A tribute to Cyndee

http://cyndeeluque.wordpress.com/ Her song is "I Can Only Imagine", we sang and loved it as a life group.

Blur of a week

Most of the week, I was struggling with some stomach issues, sinus headaches and great sadness, and shock. J had to be taken to his scout camp orientation this morning, I struggled getting up, when really I just wanted to stay in bed and cry. P was off today, when he got up he watched a movie with the kids while I had a little time to myself. P and J are now helping setting up for C's memorial service tomorrow afternoon. I just can't believe she's really gone.

Taking care of me

Wash Day Lord, help me wash away all my selfishness and vanity, so I may serve you with perfect humility through the week ahead. Ironing Day Dear Lord, help me iron out all the wrinkles of prejudice I have collected through the years so that I may see the beauty in others. Mending Day O God, help me mend my ways so I will not set a bad example for others. Cleaning Day Lord Jesus, help me to dust out all the many faults I have been hiding in the secret corners of my heart. Shopping Day O God, give me the grace to shop wisely so I may purchase eternal happiness for myself and all others in need of love. Cooking Day Help me, my Savior, to brew a big kettle of brotherly love and serve it with clean, sweet bread of human kindness. The Lord's Day O God, I have prepared my house for you. Please come into my heart so I may spend the day and the rest of my life in your presence.

My heavy heart

This morning my friend C went to be with the Lord. She was loved by many, and will be missed greatly, until Jesus calls us home too. Her husband and daughter where with her when she died.

Keep praying

For my friend C. It will take a God size miracle for healing this side of heaven. Yesterday she went into surgery to repair a tear in her liver. The doctor was unable to because the tumor is pressing on the tear. The tumor is about 5 1/2 inches, too large to remove. She started chemo today. Her husband has barely left her side. Her daughter is only 9.

J is home

He had a great time in CA, I asked him what his favorite thing was, thinking he would say Disneyland. He couldn't narrow down what the most favorite think was. The ROTC got to tour military bases, watch marines gradate, spend time on a beach and lots more. I'm sure it will be a great memory for him for years. He was so tired, he was barely home 30 minutes before he was sound asleep (I think that was just because he had to go to the bathroom, LOL). R and I had to drag his suitcase on my bed to get the laundry out of it, so I could work on the laundry today.

More of a Troubled Heart

My close friend C who has been battling breast cancer, (since last fall), was omitted to the hospital on Wednesday. Her liver has a tumor now. She's had an CT scan, MRI, and biopsy and is now waiting for results. She is having a hard time eating and drinking because she is so bloated. I went and saw her today, my heart is just breaking, she is such a giving person and this is really hard on her. She has a great attitude and mostly struggles with feeling helpless that she's not doing something. God has been showing me the last few days, that even though I am so very frustrated with the things at school, it could be a lot worse. Like the wild fires, earthquakes and illnesses that touched me in the last few days. Those things have put somethings in perspective in my mind, now I just need to let God work on my heart.

My Heart is Troubled

Boy, when I thought of a title of this most, I realized, my heart is troubled about several things. Monday I went to see my cardiologist and had a echo. The echo showed more thickening, and the doctor seemed really concerned about how old my vaule is. He said,right now there's nothing to do but wait and see if anything else changes. Today after school J leaves for CA with his ROTC, he will be back Sunday afternoon. my heart can not help but be troubled... Lastly my daughter's school held the last PTO meeting and elections, I decided I wanted to run one more year as president. However I was not elected. That woman who was such a pain in my side at the beginning of the year, then resigned from the board in November, talked the woman who was the president 3 years ago to run. She won. I lost. The things that bother me the most is that it's S's last year at Sunrise next year. I really wanted make sure she had a fun 6th grade year. 2nd the woman who was elected president, does not have children at Sunrise. She will have a freshman and senior next year.She is a reading para pro, which isn't quite a teacher. Because of this woman, we did not participate in many school events, her sons were in J's cub scout troop, and I found her to be loud and obnoxious, during those meetings when she wasn't in charge, no way would did I want to go to any school event that she was in charge of. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to even work at Sunrise next year, or send my daughters there. I have not slept all night. I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to handle the last few weeks of school.

Lost but now found!

I thought I was losing my mind again, because I had just put pictures on my computer this afternoon of J and P's birthdays, deleted them from my camera, went to upload them to Flickr but I couldn't find them. I so glad I found them. I hadn't been able to use my camera until this week, because the battery died when we were at Peter Piper for J's birthday, and when we got home we couldn't find my charger anywhere. I just got a new charger, thinking then it would show up. Click on "my pictures" to see a few snap shots of their birthday celebrations.

Sucess

Last night was the last "big" PTO sponsored events for Sunrise for this school year. (we still have a election meeting for next year, Chick Fillet A night, and pastries with parents, and Great Skate end of year skate, those are small work compared to last night feat). It was a lot of work to put together a Game night and silent auction, neither of which I have ever done before. We had a big turnout, which was great to see. I think the best part was the PTO offered scholarships to 16-6th grade students who would not be able to afford to go on the 6th grade overnight field trip, in return they had to come and help us at game night, they did all the games for us. I had it pretty organized, to where the games should be and where the students should be. They did an outstanding job, they well earned their scholarships, it was money well spent.

Happy Birthday to my Hubby!

He's had a long week, again. Today is his only day off week. He's planning on going to a movie later by himself or going hiking. Then he'll be helping me at our Game Night/Silent Auction at school. Not too much fun on your birthday, but at least he doesn't have to work. I'm going to go get some lunch for us and surprise him before I go to work.

Losing my mind

I almost always hang my lanyard with my name badge and school keys on the rear view mirror in my car. Yesterday after church I noticed it was not hanging there. I had already bribed the kids into cleaning all the junk in my car, I thought for sure one of them would find it. Nope. I was panicking just a little. A few hours later I remembered I gave J my keys on Friday was we were leaving, because R left her backpack in the PTO workroom. I met them in the office, where I was talking to the secretary about a new design for a school t-shirt for next year. (Sunrise will be 30 years old). On my way to therapy this morning I called my friend M and asked her to look in the workroom for me, to see if they were in there. They weren't, darn it. I had an email from the attendance clerk, when answering her questions I asked if anyone turned in my keys. They were on the secretary's desk! J must have set them down when I was talking to her, thinking I knew he gave them to me. I slept terrible last night, not knowing were in the world they were. I'm so glad that mystery is solved!

I am so ready to sleep in tomorrow

It's been a rather long week, and I only worked 13 hours. Well, I should say got paid for 13 hours. That doesn't include any volunteer hours. Which was probably about 13 more hours. Which still doesn't seem so bad, except, I've had almost 6 hours of physical therapy, a doctor's appointment and a morning at the orthodontist with J (getting his retainer), and R. R didn't do so well, I had to hold her hand while they put the metal bands on for the impressions, there's not a lot of room in her mouth, I'm sure it hurt. Bible study at my house and all the other stuff that happens during the week (cooking dinner, dance lessons, scout meetings, etc. etc.) My foot is doing better, not 100% better, but better than it was. It's actually throbbing a little right now because I wore my orthopedics all day, and I was on my feet longer today that the rest of the week. OK, this post is turning into a whine. While, I'm at it my allergies are really out of control.

My great nephew!

8 LBS 4 oz cuteness, and 21 and 1/2 inches long. (I didn't take these pictures, but stole them from my other niece's MySpace, that's J's hand in the one picture, you can tell because of the Steeler's watch!)

Vision

I totally had this vision earlier today that I posted a blog "introducing". I didn't even know then my niece was in labor! My sister didn't call until 1. At 4:14 PM this afternoon I became a Great Aunt. J wanted to be at the hospital when the baby was born, and he was but just barely. I dropped him off, took the girls to dance, afterward the girls and I met him at the hospital, the girls were not allowed up on the floor, so they couldn't go see the baby. J came down to the waiting room and stayed with them, while I went up to see him. (he was born at the same hospital all my kids were born at). I got to hold him, but J didn't! Not for long since the nurse was waiting to give him his first bath. The birth was a little scary, but he is just fine now and just just so cute!

As it turns out

J was not mad at me when he left yesterday morning. He was only tired. P came up with taking him out for dinner. J wanted pizza. We went to Peter Piper. I could barely walk from the car by dinner. I stayed at the table while the kids and P played. I did have P take pictures for me, that hopefully someday soon I'll be able to see. The battery in my camera died, and I have no idea where the charger is :(

Braces off

Not that you can tell much in the picture, J with his orthodontist and team.

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom - I never thought about immunizations. I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night. Before I was a Mom - I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep. Before I was a Mom - I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy. Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

Firstborn

Is 15 today! I totally blew it and forgot breakfast in bed this morning, but to be fair only he remembered, not one of the other 4 of us. I'm not even sure where his present is, P was in charge of it. We'll have to try to make it up to him later, I know when he left he was a little upset, which makes me feel even worse. I had to take a pain pill last night for my foot, it totally wiped me out, and I had a hard time getting up this morning. All I could think of was S had to be at chorus at 7:30, and I have PT at 8:30, J's birthday didn't hit me until I stepped out into the hallway. Grrr, I am so mad at myself.