Putting It All Together- a journey from January 4, 2011

January 4, 2011, I was working at a local elementary school and I took 2 students to lunch at 11:40 AM. One was a new student and one I had been working with for a semester already. Lunch did not go well, the new student is a six year old with multiple handicaps, He was not use to eating in a large cafeteria with many students. He could not feed himself, and what I did manage to put into his mouth he ate like an animal. He had raisins in his lunch I thought if I gave him a few at a time, like feeding a toddler he would be able to fed himself. He grabbed all that a put down and shoved them towards his mouth. More fell onto the floor and surrounding area than anywhere else. The other student that was with me was mad at me for giving all my attention to the other guy. When I was helping the second student I'll call C, the new student (K) grabbed at his messy noodles in some weird sauce and made a huge mess and I mean huge! It was unbelievable that I got him and the area cleaned up to go out side for recess. At 12:10 PM, as we were walking outside a teacher offered to assist me on the playground. After our wonderful lunch, I gladly said "yes". C had been swinging on the special "red" swing everyday during recess, prior to this day, he knew that's what he wanted to do. The new student would not do anything, and we (the teacher and I) were concerned that he might run away from us or throw sand. We moved C from the swing and K was very happy on the swing. C of course was upset. I felt badly for him. Beside the red swing is a regular child's swing. I first thought C might sit on my lap to swing, he is unable to use a regular child's swing developmentally. As soon as I sat down I knew that was a very bad idea. As I was steadying C on the soft turf and I was standing, I lost my balance because of the design of the soft turf ending and sand beginning design of the playground. I probably would not have fallen, but there was a student laying in the sand under the swings. I fell backwards onto my back because of his leg sticking out. I was in pain instantly. The teacher that was with me sees me in the sand and asks "am I OK?", "No" I respond. She asks if we need to call 911. Without giving it any thought I responded "YES!" I in the worst pain I have ever felt in my life, and I've had my share of painful things. The whole time I am on the sand the little boy is saying over and over, "I'm sorry my leg was there, I'm so sorry", did I mention he kept saying it over and over again. It was breaking my heart. I wanted to get up and tell him it's OK, I'll be alright, but I couldn't move to do that and it really hurt me not to be able to. The time 12:15 PM. I tried rolling onto my side trying to get relief from the pain. I'm not sure how much time it took for the paramedics to get there, it seemed like an eternity, with staff and students looking on. Luckily, the principal acted quickly and had the students return to their classrooms. When the paramedics got there, they rolled me on my back, ow, please don't touch me, but help me is all I'm thinking. They attempted several times to start an IV, so they can give me something for the pain. After failing to start one they shoved the needle with morfine in my arm, it didn't seem to help at all. They strap me on the gurney and start rolling towards the ambulance. I thought I was going to fall. One of the paramedics noticed I was uneasy said "you have a thousand straps holding you, your not going anywhere". I doubt it was a thousand! In the ambulance before we started going anywhere they wanted to get an IV going. After a few more attempts they got a poor one, but they got one. On the way to the hospital they had to give me oxygen because I wasn't breathing normally, a usual side affect they said of the pain medication. Time just seems to blurr quite a bit from this point on, I remember, my husband finally getting to the hospital, I remember someone wanting to cut my pants off, talking to a doctor, having a CT scan, 2 co-workers bringing me my purse and car keys, my in-laws stopping by for a few minutes, learning I was going to be admitted to the hospital, getting into the room at 11 PM. But really those 11 hours went by really fast, I really must have been drugged. I do not remember when they told me I had a compression fracture. The next day I had an MRI, and met with lots of different doctors. One wanted to fit me for a plastic brace, one wanted to put cement in my back with big needles, one was concerned that my blood levels were too high. I just did what they all wanted me to do, so I have this plastic binder that I brought home from the hospital that I have never worn, and don't even know how to put it on. I managed to get my blood levels normal enough to have a cement procedure. Two things that doctor didn't tell me is that I would be laying on my stomach while he did this, and I would be awake. I still would have done it, because he said that afterwards I would be pain free immediately, Sounded amazingly wonderful to me. He didn't tell me when I would have it done it either, he would just come get me when there was time, either Thursday afternoon, or Friday morning. Seems like I barely agreed to it, and he comes and takes me to the basement for the procedure. It seemed kinda scary going down to the basement, even though it was brightly lite, it was the basement, scary things happen in basements, I don't know why I had things like Frankenstein and weird labs were going through my head. It was very painful when the doctor is hammering into my back, maybe if I was wearing earplugs it wouldn't have seemed so bad, because then I couldn't hear what he was doing, I think I should suggest that to him. With each whack I just squeezed my eyes as tight as a could, at some point I thought "why are you not done yet"? The whole thing took less than an hour, but let me just say that when someone it whacking holes in your back, and sticking huge needles in those holes it seems a lot, a lot longer! That evening one of my co-workers brought me some beautiful flowers and visited with me for a long time. I was thinking any time now the pain will be gone. Not that night. Friday morning I woke up having horrible back spasms. Not pain free yet? Friday afternoon C's mom came to visit me. She was so glad I was OK, she felt horrible that I fell. He son had nothing to do with it. Yes, I helped him steady himself, which caused me to loose my balance, but really if the playground was design was better, and the other little boy wasn't laying under the swings, I probably wouldn't have fallen. I did learn that, I had not done such a wonderful job steadying C, because he also fell, but in an apposite direction of me. He was left bruised, down his leg. I felt terrible, I really cared about C a lot. Anyway back to no pain relief all day Friday, saw the doctor who did the procedure who said sometimes it takes a few days to get better. No! That's not what you lead me to believe before? Saturday morning they wanted to discharge me from the hospital, but I had to be able to walk 50 yards first. PT ordered a walker for me to use, and helped me get steady with it and walk the hallway. It took forever to walk 25 feet, the 25 feet back to my room didn't seems as far? My theory on that it for the first 25 feet, I had not idea where the stopping point was, all I see it a long hallway, and the not knowing when I could turn around made it seem much longer. The way back I felt a little bit more confident and I had the end in sight. Amazingly I showered on my own, for the first time in 4 days, and was dressing when my kids came to get me from the hospital. Coming up soon: recovery at home.